A New Day

So...how can I possibly be so ill that I am unable to actually go to work, but am so healthy as to begin a blog? Well hell, that's easy. There's sick and then there's SICK! I can't say that I've ever been soooooo sick that I was too sick to bitch. That would be a mighty strong layer of sick. I'm not at it, yet.

See, I hate being late. It's a thing for me. I remember in college being told "to be five minutes early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is totally unacceptable." I took that little pledge mantra to heart. I made it part of me FOREVER, lol. So, here's me rolling over and looking at my clock this morning, from under a haze of dying and no glasses wearing blindness to find it read what looked an awful lot like 5:48am. Now, I know, that CAN'T be possible. At 5:48, I'm in my car heading off for points unknown in south Jersey. I'm driving, yelling at idiot drivers who are too slow to be in front of me and too stupid to know that they were supposed to have gotten the hell out of my way. At 5:48, I'm not just waking up. Crap.

I just up, thinking, if I don't shower, if I just brush my teeth and throw on clothes, no one will notice. Sure, doc, no one will notice you're a skanky no showering dirty mess. Yeah. Then I hit the bathroom, thinking I would jump in the shower and just go into work one hour late, and the room began to spin when I sat down. That's when my demons started in on me.

You know those demons - they look an awful lot like twisted Dwarves. First there's Sleepy, then there's Grumpy, then there's Lazy (he was in the story! He just couldn't be bothered to be in the movie!) and they're all standing on your shoulders whispering into your ear.

Go back to bed, go back to bed, go back to bed.

Yeah, they won. I woke up in time to call out.

And, just as an aside, does anyone else see the ironic stupidity of having to wake up to call out. Can't I just call out the night before. I'm sick. I knew I was sick when I went to bed. You made me wake up to tell you I'm sick?!? Bad form, that's just bad form.

But, I'm awake now. I still feel like shit mind you, but I'm awake. I thought I'd tap a little on here and just send my thoughts into the nothing that is the interwebz. Now, I'm going to try to force myself to eat and then flop down in front the idiot box and feel my IQ drop a few points thru the wonder that is modern daytime TV.