This is what I get for pretending to have a degree!

Shut up UNIVERSE!

I really thought I had this one right...and quite honestly, I'm still not sure I didn't have it right, for the most part! lol Let's begin with the beginning,eh, and jump in the way back machine, circa...2 weeks ago. You remember then? I started this here madness of throwing thoughts into the ether?! You remember, I know you do. I do. I was SICK. Not just sick, I was SSSSSSSIIIIIIICCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK.

(and tired. And tired always followed sick. Worst beating of my life came when my mother said "I'm just sick" and I said "and tired." I don't remember anything after that. BEST Cosby bit EVER!)

I try to live my life squarely pretending that I am both a real doctor, and just a fake one. I try. I do.

Remember I was SIIICCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK...I felt like deep fried horse shit. BUT...no fever, no pain, no coughing up crap or blowing my nose all over the place, no nausea, no running from either end. Just crap. That, to me, is your garden variety cold. You don't go running to another doctor (if I'm going to BE one, I have to DECIDE like one, lol) for your garden variety virus. Shit'll get better in 14 days with treatment, 2 weeks without it.

Shit got better.

Cough didn't but the rest did.

Round about 2 days ago, it occurs to me, I feel like there are bubbles in my right ear. Again, no fever, no pain in or around the ear when I tug on it. Still...virus crap.

Cough is now waking me up every 3.5 hours when the OTC shit I'm taking like clockwork wears off. Cough is now so bad I've driven my beloved honey to the GUEST ROOM. (and NO, it was not JUST because he didn't want to catch the creeping crud, smartasses!) It's bad at night, mostly just at night.

That sounds like post nasal drip to me. No harm, no foul (sort of). I'm still not worried. I've STILL got no fever, no aches, no pain, no nausea, no emissions from any oriface. I'm still not terribly worried.

Today...I can barely speak my throat is so frogged out from the cough. The cough is HARD and hurts. My chest feels TIGHT!

I remember my cuz...and his mantra...all that wheezes is not asthma, all asthma does not wheeze.

I know this feeling. This feels like bronchitis with a mix of allergen induced asthma. Used to get this shit BOATLOADS when I smoked. (granted...I WAS at 2.5 packs a day but you know, when you're GOOD at something...BE GOOD AT IT DAMMIT!) Now I'm more than concerned enough to call the nurse prac. Somehow manage to get an appt the same day.

Today.

I go in and tell her.

She looks in one ear - LOTS of fluid in this one
She looks in the other ear - Well, that's an infection, no doubt
She touches my throat - you're swollen to hell you know
She looks in my throat - you've got green drip. You're a mess you know.

I did manage to sputter out...but...but...pain??? I've got no pain? I thought ear infection equaled pain??? Her reply? "You've got a high tolerance to pain"

Heinous fuckery most foul dammit!

SHUT UP UNIVERSE!

yea...my beloved honey refrained from the I told you so's. He even picked up the antibiotic and the codeine cough syrup (passed in excellence in my experience only by my friend...Hycodan...BEST SHIT EVER!) with nary a word.

I think I may have heard neener neener neener on his way out but what the hell do I know...my ears have drowned.